a German, Swedish and a Polish
There was a German, Swedish and a Polish guy
stranded on a Island. They find a genie bottle in the water, they
rub it and a genie pops out. The genie says since there is three
of you, each one gets one wish, so he starts with the German guy
and asks him what he wishes, he says, "I miss my wife and family
very much so I would like to be back home." Poof, the German guy
is gone. Then the genie asked the Swedish guy what his wish will
be and he says, "I also miss my wife and family very much I would
like to go home too. Poof, the Swedish guy is gone. Then the genie
asked the Polish guy what his wish will be and he says, "You know
I miss the other two guys very much I wish they would come back.
Poof the German and Swedish guys came back.
*********
This salesman selling vacuum cleaners is going from door to door
trying to flog them to unsuspecting housewives. He goes to this
new
estate hoping to have some luck there.
Carrying his cleaner up to the door and holding a bunch of goodies
in his other hand, he knocks on the door.
"Excuse me madam," meanwhile pushing his way in the door. He
quickly empties the goodies he has all over the lady's plush new
wool carpet, including shit, gravel, dirt and an array of other
crap.
Then he pronounces:"The cleaners that I am about to sell you here
are so good that if it doesn't clean that crap off your carpet I
vow
that I will eat it!"
The lady furious with the mess replies,"Well you stupid salesman,
would you like sauce with that because we haven't got the power
on yet!"
*********
Two Missouri boys are playing football when one of the boys is
attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy
rips
a board off the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar, and
twists, breaking the dog's neck.
A Kansas City Star reporter hears about the incident and rushes
over to interview the boy. "Young Chiefs Fan Saves Friend From
Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Chiefs fan," the little hero replies. "Sorry, since
we
are in Missouri I just assumed you were," says the reporter, and
he
starts again. "Rams Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he
jots in his notebook.
"I'm not a Rams fan either," the boy responds. "I assumed everyone
in the state of Missouri was either for the Chiefs or the Rams.
What
team do you root for?" the reporter asks. "I'm a Denver Broncos
fan." the boy says.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little
Redneck Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet."
*********
A North Carolina man, having bought several expensive cigars,
insured them against theft, loss, and fire. After he had smoked
them, he then decided that he had a claim against the insurance
company and filed. The insurance company refused to pay, citing
the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigar normally.
The man sued. The judge stated that since the company had
insured the cigars against fire, they were obligated to pay. After
the
man accepted payment for his claim, the company then had him
arrested ..... for arson.
*********
Two atoms are walking down the street...
Then the one says to the other.
1st-Hey I've Just lost an electron
2nd-Are you sure??
1st-Yes I'm positive...!!!!! |
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