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my name is shut up

One day there were three people.their names were Manners, Trouble, and Shut up.One day they were playing hide and seek. Manners got a tummy ache so he went to the toilet. Trouble was hidding. Shut up was findding trouble when he met a police man. The policeman: what is your name?
Shut up: shut up!
The policeman: are you looking for trouble?
Shut up: yes!
The policeman: where are your manners?
Shut up: in the toilet.

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Top 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don't like:

10) Hey! There's a gift.

9.) Well, well, well...

8.) Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would've fit.

7.) Perfect for wearing in the basement.

6.) Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!

5.) If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

4.) I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3.) Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.

2.) To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity

1.) I really don't deserve this.


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I now know why I'm always so tired
For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of vitaminsn, iron poor blood, dieting and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out the real reaso