tell me why,dad!
"Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent
a fax to my wife I'd be home in the evening, and when I got into
my there I found my wife in another man's arms. Why Dad? Tell me
why!"
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, she
didn't get the fax."
********There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau.
Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard
line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to
the empty seat.
When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it,
"Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wife's seat.
She passed away. She was a big Packers fan." The other man replied,"I'm
so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the
ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "They're all
at the funeral."
*********
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He sips it and sets it
down a monkey swings across the bar and pisses in the pint. The
man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the
piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do
you know your monkey pissed in my beer." The pianist replies "No,
but if you hum it I'll play it."
*********
So, this guy, Bill is sitting at the bar and pulls out this tiny
little piano and a little guy about a foot tall. The little guy
sits down and starts playing the piano quite beautifully. The fellow
on the next bar stool, Joe says" That's amazing. Where did you get
him?" Bill says" well I got this magic lamp with a genie" So the
other fellow says that's
great could I use it?" Bill says "sure " and hands him the lamp.
Joe rubs the lamp and out comes the genie. He says" I want a million
bucks".
Suddenly the room is entirely filled with quacking ducks! Joe exclaims"Hey!
I asked for I million BUCKS! not DUCKS!" Bill explained "Yes, the
genie is a bit deaf. You don't think I really asked for a twelve
inch pianist do you?
*********
What about Men?
Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
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Q: Do you know the real reason Moses wandered in the desert for
40 years?
A: Because even back then men wouldn't stop and ask for directions.
What about Women?
Q: How do you know that a fax came from a blonde??
A: There is a stamp on it.
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Q: What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back! |
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